A Very Good Question

I'm not a believer in coincidence or randomness. My faith tells me that God has a plan and that He works all things for good for those who love Him. So I try to view every event as meaningful in some way. I'm also not the quickest to catch on to what is going on. But, I try to be observant and I really try to understand what God is teaching me. I'm still trying to figure out this moving to Arizona thing. I guess that you go through something like grieving when you go through a big change like this. Someone I met out here gave me two books - "After the Boxes are Unpacked" and "Who Moved My Cheese". The first one has made me realize that I'm not crazy. Sadness, anger, all the emotional reactions to loss are normal with a big change. The second one is a parable about some mice and a maze. I'm not good with parables, similes, metaphors or any other symbolic forms of communication. But there was a question in the story that is sticking with me: "What would you do if you weren't afraid? ". I think that the point of the book is that change is inevitable, get ready for it, go with it, embrace it, make it work for you. But - What would you do if you weren't afraid?

Today I was at Target doing my usual tour of the store. I was looking at the exercise outfits - like I'm going to take up exercise! No - that is not what I would do if I wasn't afraid. Here is what happened - I was minding my own business when I looked up and saw a woman walking toward me. She was very purposeful as she came up to me and I realized she was about to speak to me. "Your outfit looks so good" she said. Now you know that I like to look good. But I'm not lying when I say that there was nothing special about what I was wearing today. Black shorts and a very large green shirt. No one knows me here so I dress down quite often. When I thanked her, she proceeded to tell me her life story. Do people do that to you? They do to me with some frequency. You have to think when that happens that there are either a lot of crazies around or God is about to speak to you. I don't believe in randomness. This sweet lady wanted to tell me how she has been blessed by God with the daily awareness of His closeness and His love for her and she likes to take the time to be kind to others. She wasn't preaching the gospel to me, just wanting to bless me. She survived a terrible accident and her outlook on life was amazing. She wasn't attractive (large moles all over her face and very badly crooked teeth), but she was radiant with the joy of the LORD. I honestly have never seen anyone like her. Perspective dawned for a brief second for me. What in the world do I have to be sad over? As she left she said "I remind myself everyday that if He isn't walking beside me today, He is carrying me".

I could look at this as a random encounter with "someone special "- that's what she called herself! But I want to believe this was a divinely orchestrated meeting. And I want to remember her and what she said. I want what she has - no fear.

What would I do if I wasn't afraid? I'd speak life to someone I don't know who needs a touch from the LORD every chance I get. What would you do?

Good Job Baby Girl!!

I've been asking myself a question for several months. Just what is a blog? No one seems to have an answer that tells me what it really is or is supposed to be. So as I sit with this computer beside my window in Phoenix, I'm still wondering. Maybe what I should ask is: Is this for me or for those who read it? Is this a place to bear my heart and soul? Or a place to talk to whoever happens to read this? Am I supposed to be entertaining? Or do I just go with a stream of consciousness and hope that I hit on something that has meaning somehow or someway?

It is always good to be funny. In fact, I believe that being funny ranks really high on most people's list of character traits they look for in friends and relationships. I have always said that our family is not funny. My daughter Katie doesn't like that I don't think we're funny. But I'm just being honest. I know some really funny people. And we can't compare to them. Now, don't get me wrong - we have lots of laughs and fun. And now that Tom is part of the family, our funny quotient has definitely gone up hugely. He is purely funny! Maybe it is enough to recognize funny when you see/hear it. I hope so. I've heard that laughing and smiling is actually physically good for you. Endorphins, etc. I can't remember all of the benefits. I know for sure that laughing is one of the only antidotes to the sadness of this world. So, I think that it is my new goal to laugh more each day and to smile a lot, even when I'm alone. So if you see me smiling a lot (which you won't because I'm in AZ), I haven't turned daft (or "funny" as Celestine Sibley would say).

I'll be laughing and smiling a lot in two weeks when our family converges in Birmingham to celebrate Erin's graduation from Samford University. It will be the first time that we have all been together since last Christmas (Jessye my niece and her daughter will be there). I used to take being together for granted. Now each time is a gift. I can't wait to see them all and squeeze them and hear them laughing.

So all this, and what I really wanted to say is - I love and am so proud of Erin and the way she has allowed the LORD to mold her and grow her. She set herself a goal and she made it happen. Thank you LORD for your grace and goodness and provision. Good job Baby Girl! We are all blessed by you. Your hard, hard work will pay off on the 17th with that degree. And by the way - you are really funny!

Finding beauty

When I realized that God wasn't kidding about moving us to the desert, I had to get serious about how this new season of our lives would work out. I'm fine with busyness. I really prefer it. It gives me a reason to get up in the morning, and a satisfied feeling of accomplishment when I can check something off my list. So moving worked to keep me in the state of busyness for most of the last two and a half months. I had lots of great help and company as I tried to combine acceptance of this "adventure" with the work of packing and leaving. Caroline can't be rivaled for her tender care of my feelings and my belongings. She kept me company and didn't make fun of the miles of bubble-wrap that I thought I needed to ensure the safety of my many precious belongings. She let me sob on her new desk and threw the best going away party that anyone has ever had. I could go on and on, but most of you have been the recipients of her love, so you know. I'm so glad that I grabbed ahold of you Caro those many years and tears ago.

So here I am now - three weeks into the adventure and practically settled in. Erin is here this week and we have been playing. The LORD is uncanny - awesome some might say. HE knows me so well - exactly what I need, exactly when I need it. Erin is what I need right now. She has amazing eyes for the beauty of creation. Through her eyes I'm becoming aware of the beauty of this wild west place. We've hiked and journeyed out of the city into the desert. The beauty is breath-taking. I love that she loves creation. I love to watch her jump beside a "jumping cactus". I love to laugh with her at her enjoyment of all that GOD has made.

I'm getting excited about learning about the cowboys and Indians who lived here before us. I have found myself visualizing myself among the pioneer women who came here on wagons and trains, leaving everyone they loved behind. They must have been terrified too. My daughters and son-in-love are the brave ones in the family. I'm so blessed by them and through them. They remind me that GOD knows what HE is doing. I'm so glad that HE brought them out here during our first weeks here. This Easter weekend we will celebrate with all of you our risen LORD. We'll be thinking of you while we watch the Son (sun) rise over the Grand Canyon on that day. Blessings from a pioneer/sojourner/fellow wanderer -

San Xavier and my Mom

One thing that I know for sure about God is that He is never random in the way He writes our stories. When my Mom was two years old, her Mother died. Her family lived in Greenville Mississippi. Her Dad was an attorney, and she had two older brothers and a sister who was five at the time. When her mom died, Mom was sent to live with her father's sister and her husband. Daddy Phil (the uncle) worked for the U.S. Indian service on a Papago Indian reservation about 10 miles outside Tucson. The reservation is still there. It is called San Xavier and the beautiful mission church is pictured. Their house was across the road from the church. For ten years of her childhood, Mom lived on this remote arid land in the middle of the Sonoran desert and went to school with Indian children at the first public school in Arizona. The school was in the courtyard of the church (to the right of the tower). Mom always called this place on earth and in her past "God's country".

We have just arrived here in this new land. Last Saturday we took our daughter and son-in-law down to Tucson to visit this place that was so significant to my Mom. I know that she remembered it as a place of peace and wonderful memories of her childhood. I'm asking God to give me her eyes for where He has put us. Of all the places He could have taken us, it can't be random that He brought us here.

Packing up the Memories

I'm going through every closet and cabinet and finding mementos of 30+ years. Today I ran across a photo album of the babies I've helped deliver. The little mommies wrote me notes and I've saved them. It's amazing and humbling and awesome to look back over these and know that I was there when these lives began. Everybody remembers who was there when their babies were born.

There was one girl who had lost a baby the year before her baby was born. And I remember feeling like it was my fault that she lost her baby. But, all she could do was thank me for helping her when her son was born. She sent me Christmas cards for years.

I guess that's what I've done all my life, help women. I'm assuming there is someone in Arizona who needs me.

I'm weeping, Caroline says that if you don't cry when you blog then you aren't really blogging.

More later.

Debbie's Inaugural Ball

Hey Everybody! Ok - so it's not Mama D. It's really Fritchie here. I set up a blog for Mama D so we can all keep up with her through the blog world for her upcoming big move! Give her a shout-out on the comments to encourage her to start blogging so we can hear all about the wild, wild west!!!